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Lasting longer during sex can prolong pleasure for both partners. Tips for lasting longer include pelvic exercises, foreplay, using the stop-start method, and seeking medical help for premature ejaculation.
Being able to continue sexual activities for longer periods may help all parties have satisfactory sex and reach orgasm.
A 2020 study suggests that the average female in a monogamous heterosexual relationship needs 13.41 minutes to orgasm from penile-vaginal intercourse. In contrast, the average male can take
In this article, we will discuss 11 methods that people can try to last longer in bed.
- Best therapy option: ReGain therapy | Skip to review
- Best desensitizer: Roman Swipes | Skip to review
- Best for medication: Hims | Skip to review
Definitions of premature ejaculation (PE) vary. The American Urological Association consider PE to be any time a person ejaculates earlier than they or their partner would like. Other organizations assign specific time frames.
For example, the International Society of Sexual Medicine suggests that ejaculating within 1 minute of penetration may qualify as PE. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) concurs with this criteria.
However, the length of time is less important than how ejaculation affects the relationship. If a person ejaculates so early that it causes distress or makes sex difficult, it warrants treatment. Even when a person’s ejaculation time frame is within the average range, they may still wish to last longer.
Communicating with each other is vital to understanding what works and what does not. Having an open mind toward sex may help create a more relaxed atmosphere, increase intimacy, and lessen anxiety about sex.
Even though people may not feel comfortable talking about PE with their partner at first, once any concerns are out in the open, they can be managed together as a team. A 2019 study found that couples who communicate more about sex tend to have better sex than other couples.
People may find the following tips for starting and holding a conversation about PE helpful:
- choosing a time and place which is comfortable with no time pressures or distractions
- being clear and open about feelings may make the conversation easier
- trying not to assign any blame or get defensive
- ending the discussion after agreeing on how to address premature ejaculation together
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Taking the following steps may help a person have a more satisfying sex life:
- avoiding recreational drugs
- quitting smoking, if they smoke
- decreasing alcohol intake
- exercising regularly
- following a balanced diet
- managing stress with techniques such as meditation, yoga, and mindfulness
Some people may find that foreplay allows them to extend sexual activity. These individuals can pleasure and satisfy their partners without worrying about ejaculating early.
In a sample of 1,055 females who completed a confidential survey in the United States, only 18.4% said that penile-vaginal intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm. 36.6% reported that clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse.
An older 2017 article also found that females orgasmed most often during assisted intercourse, which involved penetrative sex and clitoral stimulation.
Therefore, people may find it helpful to incorporate oral sex or manual stimulation into their sexual activities, particularly if penetrative sex is unlikely to last long enough for all parties to reach orgasm.
Some people find that pelvic floor physical therapy offers significant relief. A physical therapist will diagnose any problems with the pelvic floor muscles before recommending at-home exercises to strengthen these muscles. Over time, this may prolong sex and improve bladder control.
Biofeedback uses electrical information to help people retrain their bodies to delay ejaculation. Over time, a person learns to control the urge to orgasm. In most cases, a person does biofeedback in a doctor’s or physical therapist’s office.
During each session, the healthcare professional may use a probe to measure sensations during masturbation or other forms of stimulation. Then, they instruct the client to do exercises, visualization, or other techniques to delay ejaculation during stimulation.
Edging — also called the stop-start method — is the practice of stopping sexual stimulation just before orgasm. Once the effects of stimulation have passed, a person will begin stimulation again.
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According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM), females can also experience PE. Edging may be an option for them, too.
Various sexual techniques can help a person delay ejaculation. When a person consistently practices them, these techniques can work well and progressively increase the duration of sex.
- Squeeze method: A person (or their partner) stimulates the penis until they are very close to ejaculating. Then, they tightly squeeze the penis without stimulating it, causing the erection to weaken slightly. It is safe to repeat this technique many times.
- Stop-start method: Also known as edging, people should repeat this technique three times and then ejaculate on the fourth time.
- Deep breathing: Some people find that deep breathing helps them refocus their mind and better control their erection. They can try slowing down stimulation and breathing slowly and deeply as ejaculation nears.
- Visualization: Visualization exercises can help reduce some of the intensity of the experience, potentially delaying ejaculation. A person may find it helpful to visualize something unrelated to sex or focus on picturing the penis remaining hard.
Psychotherapy can help a person identify any underlying psychological causes of their premature ejaculation, such as anxiety. A therapist can also recommend personalized exercises to delay ejaculation and prolong sexual activity.
Many couples find that attending sex counseling sessions together helps with premature ejaculation. The right therapist can ease both partners’ fears about the effects of early ejaculation and recommend shared activities to make sex more enjoyable.
Best therapy option: ReGain therapy
- Price: from $60 to $90 per week, depending on location and therapist availability
- Platform: desktop, iOS, Android
- Reviews: 3.3 out of 5 stars, from over 120 reviews
- BBB grade: F
ReGain therapy is an online counseling service focusing on individual, relationship, and marriage counseling. ReGain counselors are trained and accredited as psychologists, marriage and family therapists, social workers, or professional counselors.
People pay a subscription fee to use the service. They must complete an online questionnaire before ReGain matches them with a therapist. A person can communicate with their counselor via text, video conferencing, or phone calls. Communication with a counselor is available 24/7.
People can access the platform via desktop, iOS or Android devices. They may remain anonymous by entering a nickname instead of their full name during the sign-up process.
Both partners can share an account and have access to the same counselor. All information and communication is accessible to both partners and the counselor.
ReGain does not accept health insurance.
Pros
- people can sign up anonymously
- suitable for couples and individuals
- all therapists are qualified
- online sessions may be more accessible than in-person appointments
- people may cancel their subscription at any time
- offers unlimited messaging and 24/7 access to counselors
Cons
- counselors cannot diagnose or prescribe medication if required
- there is no free trial
- it does not accept insurance
- therapists may focus more on issues in a relationship than on sex
Sex toys give a person with premature ejaculation a different way to practice controlling their orgasm. They can try masturbating with sex toys alone, then stopping stimulation right before orgasm. After waiting for a few moments, they can try again.
Sex toys can also increase the partner’s pleasure, especially if it is impossible to have penetration long enough for them to orgasm. For female partners, a person can try stimulating the clitoris during intercourse, then using a vibrator or other sex toy to help them orgasm.
Penis rings can also increase pleasure during sexual intercourse, but little evidence suggests they are effective for PE. Penis rings go around the base of the penis, usually around the shaft, testicles, or both. They typically use flexible silicone or rubber, and some have vibrate functions, which can offer a pleasurable way to try controlling orgasm.
Anything that decreases the sensitivity of the penis may help a person delay ejaculation. Some doctors may recommend numbing creams or sprays.
A 2019 study investigated the efficacy of benzocaine wipes on people with PE and found that 88% of the participants using the wipes recovered from premature ejaculation after 2 months.
Typically, people can apply the cream or spray to the head of the penis 20–30 minutes before sexual penetration. They should then rinse the product off 5–10 minutes before sex so that the numbing agent does not prevent an erection or cause their partner to experience vaginal or anal numbness. Using a condom may help by further dulling sensations.
Best desensitizer: Roman Swipes
- Price: from $22 a month
- Amount: eight wipes per box
- Active ingredients: 4% benzocaine
- Requires a prescription: no
- Reviews: 1.9 stars out of 5 from 13 reviews
- BBB grade: B
Roman Swipes are wipes that may help with premature ejaculation. They contain a 4% benzocaine solution, a
The company states that people should apply the wipes to sensitive areas of the penis and allow it to dry for 5 minutes before engaging in sexual activity.
Roman also offers customers:
- online consultations with doctors
- prescriptions and refills
- free follow-up appointments
- free shipping
However, it does not accept insurance.
Pros
- fast results
- may improve premature ejaculation over time
- easy to use
- online consultations and follow-up appointments are free
Cons
- application may be messy
- people need to subscribe to the services
- no insurance coverage
- unsuitable for people who are allergic to benzocaine
Medication may help with premature ejaculation, but doctors usually only prescribe drugs when other treatments have not worked.
A group of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) can change sexual function and make it more difficult to orgasm. In this way, SSRIs may help delay ejaculation and allow a person to last longer.
The American Urological Association states that doctors should offer daily SSRIs, clomipramine or dapoxetine for use as and when a person needs it, or topical anesthetics as first-line treatments.
Best for medication: Hims
- Price: from $24 per month
- Consultation fee: free
- Dosage: take daily as prescribed
- Requires a prescription: yes
Hims is a telehealth company offering sertraline, a generic version of the SSRI Zoloft, as an
Antidepressants like sertraline
A recent
Learn more about sexual side effects of antidepressants.
To get sertraline from Hims, people must have a free online consultation by video call, text chat, or phone. A Hims doctor will prescribe the drug if they think it is appropriate.
People should check if their health insurance provider covers sertraline.
Pros
- the service may be cost-effective and convenient
- Hims prescribes medication within 24 hours
- sertraline can be effective for PE
Cons
- people need to subscribe to Hims
- antidepressants can cause a wide range of side effects
- sexual side effects of sertraline can include erectile dysfunction (ED)
People may wish to consult a doctor, primary care physician, or urologist if PE:
- occurs or has occurred enough times to cause problems within the relationship
- leads to feelings of self-consciousness or low self-esteem
- stops the person from having intimate relationships
The doctor may ask various questions, such as:
- how long the person has been sexually active
- how long premature ejaculation has been a concern
- how often premature ejaculation occurs
- how long it takes for the person to ejaculate during intercourse
- any drugs or medications they take
It is important to note that sex does not have to revolve around penetration or reaching orgasm. People can also find pleasure in other intimate activities, including kissing, touching, erotic massage, and using sex toys. This is sometimes called “outercourse.”
Below we answer some frequently asked questions about lasting longer in bed.
How can I stop sperm from coming early?
People can delay ejaculation by doing pelvic floor exercises, edging or stop-and-start methods, or trying desensitizing products or medication. Anyone experiencing premature ejaculation should speak with a doctor to find the best treatment.
How can I stay hard longer and last longer in bed?
Healthy lifestyle habits can help people maintain an erection for longer. This includes eating a balanced and nutritious diet, exercising regularly, reducing stress and alcohol intake, and stopping smoking. People can also try penis rings and medication, but they should speak with a doctor before trying any erectile dysfunction medication.
How long should a man last before ejaculating?
According to the
A person can try many techniques and methods to last longer in bed. These can involve adopting a healthy lifestyle or incorporating foreplay, sex toys, or new sexual techniques into sexual activities.
However, if premature ejaculation continues and begins to cause distress or make sex difficult, a person should see a doctor for help. If necessary, the doctor can refer them to a urologist or sex therapist.